


One Day

by timelxrd-victorious (Brambleshadow_of_WindClan)



Series: The Time Lord Victorious [10]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dark Doctor (Doctor Who), F/M, Gen, Tumblr Roleplay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9835127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brambleshadow_of_WindClan/pseuds/timelxrd-victorious
Summary: A dimension-hopping Rose Tyler has finally managed to cross over from Pete's World into the Doctor's universe after searching for him for so long. With her entire family and the meta-crisis Doctor dead, and the Doctor changed into someone she doesn't recognize anymore, she gives him one day to convince her to stay with him in his universe.Co-written with Tumblr user badwolfgirlicouldkissyou.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AU Rose Tyler, aka badwolfgirlicouldkissyou's RP muse. Like _Curiosity_ , this was originally a Tumblr RP thread between the two of us with her main!Rose and Teine (my dark!Ten) in his main 'verse.
> 
>  
> 
> **Translations:**
> 
> Gallifreyan  
> Arkytior: Rose  
> Salaru: my stupid little ape  
> Ngudia'sa lam su mich’t: don’t doubt my love for you  
> Satu: stay  
> Sowaitu shog ra fionn: don’t leave me  
> Ngudia tu: I love you  
> Ildiem tu: I need you
> 
> Irish Gaelic  
> a chroi (ah-REE): my heart, my heart’s beloved, my darling (term of endearment)

“Why do you look so scared?” the Doctor asked the familiar blonde woman in front of him, his lower lip pouting slightly. “I only wanted to play…”

Rose Tyler stared at him for a few long seconds. “Play?” she asked, trying to hide the quivering in her voice. Could this be real? Had she actually found him again? “Play what?”

“A game,” he answered with a not-quite-reassuring smile. “Y’know, Rose…” He moved closer, toyed with a few strands of her hair. “…You’re so lovely with that terrified expression.”

She stepped back from him and his not comforting smile. “Doctor?” she whispered. “How? I… I didn’t even know I’d gotten back. What _happened_ t’you?”

“You don’t want to know. Trust me on that.” He stepped forward, slid his hands up her shoulders and neck to cup her face. “But I’m still me… and I _need_ you, _a chroi_.”

She stared up at him in awe, for a long moment. “Doctor…” she breathed, lips parted, concern written all over her face. Oh Gods! How long had it been for him? He looked like a starved man. “How long has it been?”

“Too long.” Dark brown eyes bored into hers. “I’m over one thousand years old, Rose, and I’m _tired_ of waiting.”

“I’ve searched for you,” she admitted. “For so long. Across all of time and space. And now, here you are. Y’make it look so easy. How’d you know I’d be here?” She reached her free hand out and finally… _finally_ cupped his chin in the palm of her hand.

“Time Lord, remember?” His hands left her face, wrapped around her back and pulled her even closer before one slid down to her waist.

She coudn’t stop herself from melting into his arms. “I can so far,” she whispered, pressing her ear into his chest and listening to his dual hearts hammering away. “I missed you so much…”

“I know. And now that I have you again…” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “…I’m never letting you go. I _can’t_.”

“I don’t want you too,” she whispered to his chest, pulling him impossibly close to her. “Gods, I don’t ever want you too. I love you. Please don’t send me away again.”

“ _Salaru_ ,” he murmured affectionately. He ran his fingers through strands of her blonde hair. “ _Ngudia’sa lam su mich’t_.”

She stepped back from his embrace and glared hard at him for a moment, before slapping him in the shoulder. “I am not a stupid ape,” she said in a low voice.

“No, you’re right. That’s Mickey the idiot. I’m sorry for insulting your intelligence.” A faint, teasing smile tugged at his mouth. “What would you like me to call you then, _Arkytior_?”

“Anythin’ but a stupid ape,” she pouted, folding her arms over her chest with a huff. “Ain’t ya even gonna ask how I knew what you were sayin’ or did y’think y’said it in English?”

“Well, now that you mention it…” His eyes narrowed. “Where’d you learn Gallifreyan? I never taught you. Unless… No. _He_ taught you, didn’t he?”

“Of course he taught me,” she said simply. “He was my husband. My bondmate. He taught me everythin’…”

“ _Was_?” The Doctor’s expression sharpened. “Something happened to him, then.”

She went very still after that, her eyes looking distant. “You know I could never leave him…”

“He’s dead, isn’t he?” A faint smile flickered on his lips. “About time.” His fingers found her waist, slipped under her shirt. “Leaving you with him was a _mistake_ , Rose. I should’ve pulled you back into the TARDIS, made you stay with me—but I was a bloody coward and pushed you away.”

Her eyes went very, _very_ dark at that. But not from lust, from anger. She took a step away from him and before he could see it coming she slapped him across the jaw with the flat of her hand. She put everything she had into that, knowing it wouldn’t be much to a Time Lord, but she hoped it got the point across. “How dare you,” she said with a dark voice. “How _dare_ you! He died saving me, you git! He made me promise t’find you again and you’re here _celebratin_ ’?”  She fell back a few more steps shaking her head. “You are not my Doctor. I’ve found the wrong one…”

He winced, rubbed at his smarting jaw. “ _Blimey_ ! Have you been taking lessons from your mum?” Then the rest of her words hit him, and he stepped forward, palms supine in a pleading gesture. “Rose, I _am_ your Doctor. Honest. I’ve just… stopped pretending, more or less. And really, you’ve seen flashes of this side to me before. Why are you so surprised?”

“My mum’s dead too,” she barked. “And so it’s Pete, and Tony, and Jake! Y’gonna gloat over that too? I may have seen bits of this in you, but never would you be happy that someone died. You never pretended shit, Doctor. You _cared_. You were kind. This…” she gestured widely at him, “..this is not my Doctor. I’ll not have any part in this!” She spun again on her heel and began to stalk away, so angry she could see red but more than anything, heart broken.

“The hell you’re not!” he growled, long legs easily crossing the short distance. He gripped her upper arm tightly, spun her to face him. “And if you believe that, you haven’t seen me at all.” Brown eyes nearly black with anger blazed out over pale skin drawn taut over an alien skull.

Then, like a switch had been flipped, the anger was gone and replaced by something akin to desperation. “ _Satu, Arkytior. Sowaitu shog ra fionn. Ngudia tu—ildiem tu_.”

“Stay?” She whirled with challenge in her voice. “STAY!? You love me? You need me?! Where was that when I was on the beach alone and cold? Where was it when I was being dropped off confused without so much as a goodbye, eh? _I thought it didn’t need sayin’!_ ” Oh… she was only getting started. “What about when you were all doe eyes over Madame de Pompadour? Or makin’s decisions for me instead of even askin’ what I wanted? And now you expect me t’stay with a man I don’t even recognize? You may have the same face, but you ain’t _my Doctor_! And y’never can be until y’remember why y’left Gallifrey t’begin with! ‘Cause I know it weren’t t’gloat about people dyin’ for no reason!”

“Tough,” he said coldly. “As for Madame de Pompadour and leaving you on that damn beach… That was a _mistake_.”

She gaped at him in utter shock. “Tough?” she deadpanned. She let the tone of her voice sink in.

“TOUGH?!” she screamed. Oh, he was going to pay for that. She glared hard at him, closing the distance between them and slapping him harder than before. Then slapping him a second time with her other hand so both his cheeks were pink.

“I’ll give you tough, Time Lord. Y’say y’need me… that y’love me? Prove it.” With that she slapped the random button on her Vortex Manipulator and zapped away. This time if he wanted her that badly, he’d have to come find her. She had no intention of making it easy on him either.

The Doctor stared at the empty spot where she’d been in a frozen way for a second, and then he wheeled around and raced for the TARDIS with an angry growl in his throat.

He burst through the doors and up the ramp, was a blur of movement around the console as he threw his Ship into the Vortex after Rose.

If she thought that… that _space hopper_ was going to keep her safe… She could think again.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translations:**
> 
> Gallifreyan  
> sham gar'ngun: so sorry  
> Imalun'ah: finally, I see you again (Gallifreyan greeting)  
> ngudia sam: my beloved  
> Semrath ngudia tu ki faro?: Do you know how much I love you?  
> far ‘sa ra: don’t let go  
> Ildiem tu faronn: I need you so much  
> soki: yes  
> lyansu ‘ra: kiss me  
> sam'ra: mine  
> rovalionnti: I beg you  
> avitanon: forever  
> Tri tu miras'tu: don’t worry about me (literally: don’t break your hearts because of me)
> 
> Scottish Gaelic  
> cha déid thu ás orm!: you won’t get away from me/escape me!  
> creachaidh tu mi!: you will ruin me!  
> Tha mo ghion ort: I love you with all my heart.  
> na gabh ort gun…: don’t you dare/don’t presume that…  
> na gabh air falbh!: don’t leave!  
> a ghràidh!: my love, my dear (term of endearment)  
> gráidh (-àidh): (1) love, fondness; (2) lover, beloved object
> 
> Irish Gaelic  
> miurnin / miurneach: sweetheart (term of endearment)

She rematerialized in Japan. “Oh…” she said with a blink. “Didn’t expect that…” She shrugged, tugged her jacket around her tighter and slipped her perception filter on over her head. Good luck, Doctor. 

The TARDIS materialized in Japan, and the Time Lord stormed outside, his long brown coat flapping open behind him before swirling around his legs.

He could sense her mental presence nearby, and as he stalked through the street, he spotted her. She’d slipped a perception filter around her neck, and a dark smile flickered on his lips.  _ Did she _ really  _ think that would protect her from me? _

He reached out as soon as he was close enough, grabbed her upper arm and pulled her back against him. “Did you really think I’d let you run from me for the third time?” he hissed in her ear.

She’d forgotten he was immune to it, honestly. It was worth a shot, she supposed. His grip on her arm was too tight and she yanked it free then spat in his face. She didn’t stop herself from crying at that. 

“Stop followin’ me,” she gasped through her tears. “I… I loved you so much. You were my everythin’. My only reason for goin’ on after. And now I don’t even recognize you. If you were really the man I loved… the man I called husband once then you’d never be pleased at knowin’ I’m alone like this. A mistake, you say, eh? Leavin’ me there on that beach, not sayin’ the words. Fine, I can forgive that because you gave me him. You gave me a chance at a proper slow path life ‘cause I could never ask you t’slow down. Not ever. But now I look at you and you’re pleased that he’s gone. You’re pleased that Mum is gone and Peter and Tony and everything else I loved. That is not my Doctor. You are not my husband and you never can be. Not like this!”

She whirled again, crying harder than she thought capable. Her heart was shattered as she tried to walk away.

He was closing in on her before he was aware that he’d made the decision, gripping her again and whirling her around to face him. “ _ Cha déid thu ás orm _ !” he growled. Then his expression softened, that lost-little-boy note in his voice when he added, “Rose, I’m still me, honest. But…” The note was gone, replaced with an edge. “Slow path.  _ Husband _ . I’m not human, you  _ know _ that. You know that very well.” His grip on her arms lessened, turned into a slow caress. “I’ve shown you things not six of your kind have seen. I’ve shown you  _ me _ , as much as a human can bear to see. I’ve given you myself and the universe besides, and it’s still not enough for you!”

Skin drew taut over an alien skull; his eyes were black holes pulling her in. “What is it you want from me, Rose?” There was still an angry edge to his tone, his expression… but now there was an almost pleading note there as well. “For me to apologize? To justify myself, explain? I can’t do that, not yet—and besides, you wouldn’t believe me if I did.”

“You think any of that matters?” she whispered, her voice broken. “The aliens and spaceships and things? That I was in it for what you could give me or show me? You daft alien, git. That has nothing t’do with any of it! I don’t care about the travelin’ and the sight seein’. I cared about you. I loved you! I loved being with you, holdin’ your hand and seein’ you smile.” She shoved him away, taking several steps back.

“You have never given me your hearts. Not this you. The Proper Time Lord. You pushed me out, you shoved me away, you dropped me off on a beach without even a goodbye and then you gloated over my husband’s death.  _ Creachaidh tu mi! _ ”

“I’ve already ruined you,” he said softly. “ _ A chroi… Tha mo ghion ort. Na gabh ort gun _ I don’t.”

The Doctor stepped closer, took one of her hands in his own. He held it up to his mouth, kissed the back of her hand. Then, before he even knew what he was doing, he was down on his knees and looking up at her with large brown eyes. “ _ Na gabh air falbh _ !” he pleaded. There was a desperate note in his voice, in his eyes. “ _ Na gabh air falbh _ !” Cool lips brushed against the back of her hand again while his free hand clutched at the waistband of her jeans, the side of her blue leather jacket. “ _ A ghràidh _ I’m  _ sham gar’ngun _ .”

Any other time he’d be embarrassed about this, about the fact that a mere human had driven him—a Time Lord, the last of his kind—to begging on his knees, but Rassilon, at the moment, he could care less. Now that he’d found her again, he never wanted to see her leave.

_ I wasted too many chances, never said it when I should have, and I wish I could say I’m sorry that they’re dead but I’m not. Rassilon, Rose, don’t leave me again, please don’t. I need you, love you, and you can’t abandon me. You belong to me. …   _

She gaped at him for a long moment, grasping in the silence between them. She’d never seen him, any version of him, like this. On his knees and begging for her to stay. But then, she’d never have left him. Or so she thought. 

Gods, how she loved him still. Even the monster she could clearly see before her she loved and she knew she needed to run. She should run. She should run away as fast as she could. But there was nowhere to run, really. The manipulator would need another half hour to charge and he could outrun her on foot. He didn’t need to breathe. 

“One day,” she whispered finally. “You have one day, Doctor. T’prove t’me that you mean those words and you’re not just tryin’ t’manipulate me.” Because she would know. She wasn’t nineteen anymore. She was no fool. 

She knelt down in front of him, taking his terrified face between her hands and peering directly into his panic stricken eyes. “ _ Imalun’ah _ ,” she whispered. “ _ Ngudia sam, semrath ngudia tu ki faro? Far’sa ra. Ildiem tu faronn. _ ” With her vow fresh on her mouth she leaned close, lips just brushing against his on the path to his ear. And there, her breath warm on his skin she whispered his name. His true name. The name only a wife would know.

The Doctor stiffened, stared at her with wide eyes. He wanted to ask how she knew his name but quickly realized that would be a moot point: Her half-human husband had told her, just as he’d clearly taught her Gallifreyan.

Gradually, the panic lessened. It was still there, still simmering away in the back of his mind, but there was something else, some other emotion he couldn’t quite identify. He wasn’t human, didn’t experience emotions in the same way they did… And yet…

Rassilon, she was  _ here, _ so, so close… He didn’t care if anyone saw them, didn’t care what they would think. Sod ’em.

“ _ Soki _ ,” he breathed in answer to her question, shivering slightly as he leaned into her touch. “ _ Lyansu’ra _ .”

She brushed the soft side of his cheek with the back of her hand, gazing deep into his blown and panicked orbs. But deep under that panic there was something else… something that proved all his declarations were truth and she found she could deny him no further. She cracked and snaked an arm around his side, hand splaying on his back and drew him closer. Impossibly close at that. 

“ _ Ngudia tu _ ,” she whispered. “ _ Ngudia tu _ …” 

She leaned in and gently brushed her lips against his again, feeling the cool body temperature there. And then finally she pressed her mouth to his, fingers tangling in his wild hair. A soft moan escaped her throat.

The Doctor returned her kiss eagerly, splayed one had across her back while the other tangled in her blonde hair. 

He broke the kiss first, nuzzled at her throat, just beneath her ear. “Come back to the TARDIS with me,” he whispered, cool breath ghosting over her skin, “and I’ll take you anywhere you want.”

She nodded at that, standing slowly with him and weaving their fingers together to let him lead her away. She held back a sob at how they were still so perfectly matched in size. “Twenty-four hours,” she said after a moment. “You have twenty-four hour, Doctor. If I’m not convinced you are still my Doctor, I’m leaving.”

Twenty-four hours. Okay. He could win her over in one day.

With a short nod to show her that he’d heard, he led her back to his Ship and opened the doors with a snap of his fingers. Once they were both inside, he shut the doors in the same fashion and then bounded up the ramp to the console. 

“So! Where do you want to start, Rose, hmmm?” he asked, flashing her his usual smile.

She grabbed onto a coral strut and for a moment forgot the Time Lord altogether. She spent the time running the palm of her hand along the strut and listening carefully to the humming of the TARDIS. She remembered that song well. It ran through her own head almost constantly. 

She stopped paying attention to time altogether as she opened her mind and reached out to say hello. And oh, she felt the mental equivalent of a bear hug at that. She wrapped her arms around the strut and started to whisper in his native tongue. Words of home… and before long the two of them were singing on harmony… an ancient song that any fully blooded human had no way of knowing. But, of course, Rose Tyler wasn’t quite human anymore… was she? 

The smile faded from the Doctor’s face as he watched Rose communicate with his Ship and was replaced by something close to horror and revulsion. “How did you do that?”

She blinked back at the Time Lord, the ship still singing in her mind, but her voice went silent for a long time as she took in the almost horrified look on his face. 

“A door once opened can be entered through either side,” she murmured. “He didn’t think about that when we bonded, didn’t seal his side of the door… and I walked through it.” Her eyes changed, but a little, a hint more amber than brown, though not golden nor glowing. “I’m not human anymore, Doctor. Not really. I’m something more. I’m something of the Wolf.”

His eyes narrowed, darkened as he remembered the last time someone had said words very similar to hers to him. He hadn’t thought about it then either, and that incident had left him feeling incredibly violated.

Then her last words sank in, sparked fear deep within him. He swallowed hard. “How?”

She tapped her temple three times. “When we bonded,” she explained softly. “I saw what I had become, and I couldn’t stop the change. The dimension hoppin’ hadn’t helped either. Changed my DNA just enough. I know everything, Doctor.” 

Rose let go of the coral strut and closed the distance between herself and the Time Lord. “Look at me, Doctor,” she whispered, reaching up and cupping his face in her hand. “I haven’t aged. I still look twenty-two don’t I? But I’m not. I’m thirty-two. I think. I dunno anymore. I… lost track of time.”

The Doctor closed his eyes tightly for a few long seconds, opened them again. Suddenly he found he wanted to look anywhere but at her… yet his eyes kept returning to her face.

No, she hadn’t aged.

He swallowed, resisted the very strong urge to step back from her. “Bad Wolf, she doesn’t…?” His voice trailed away. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was asking—or if he wanted to hear the answer.

“Doesn’t what, Doctor?” she asked softly. “Control me? Is that what y’want t’know?” She brushed his cheek with her thumb softly, giving him a long moment to respond before continuing onward. 

“No, she doesn’t,” she said finally. “I control her. She’s part of me now. The way it always was meant t’be. Don’t you see that? If you hadn’t taken her from me t’begin with this change would’ve happened a lot sooner. I can give you my forever now, because I have a forever that matches your own.”

“ _ Arkytior _ …” He found himself leaning into her touch, eyelids half-closed. All at once he wanted to grab hold and never let her go, yet he wanted to run far far away without looking back. Coward, him, even after all this time.

Rassilon, this  _ had _ to be a dream. After all this, everything the universe had done… there was no way it would be this kind to him.

“ _ Sam’ra.  Rovalionnti, avitanon sam’ra _ .” The words slipped out—more a whisper than anything, and he wasn’t quite sure he was directing them to. At this point, did it even matter?

“Forever yours?” she asked softly. “Not yet. I dunno if I can stay here, Doctor. Yes, this is you and yes this is your TARDIS, but this might not be my universe. You of all people must understand that. If I’m in the wrong place, the wrong time… I could upset the entire causal nexus, love.” 

She wanted to tell him that the Doctor would never allow for such things. But this Doctor was desperate enough to do just that if pressed to it. And she couldn’t allow him to put the universe in danger just because of her. 

She wouldn’t allow it. 

“You’re not and you won’t. And you. Are.  _ Mine _ .” Though he said the words quietly, his tone was firm. Without thinking about it, his hands grasped her waist and pulled her closer. “This  _ is _ your universe, Rose.” There was an almost pleading lilt to his voice now when he added, “Let me show you.” 

Long, slender fingers slipped under her shirt and jacket, trailed over her skin in circular movements. “Stay. Please.” Unable to resist any longer he leaned in, lowered his head to where her neck met her shoulder, and tasted. Slowly he made his way up her neck to her jaw and ear, lightly tugged on her earlobe with his teeth. “Let me in,  _ Arkytior _ ,” he whispered.

A small sound escaped from her mouth at the feel of his cool lips on her warm flesh. A heat she’d all but forgotten about suddenly rushed through her blood and south toward her core. Without meaning to, she craned her head back, giving him better access to her ear and neck. He had never touched her like this before… not this one… how did he just know where her buttons were. 

Her hands ran up his arms, coming to rest on his biceps, holding him away but not too far away that he couldn’t continue. She allowed him to continue to explore her flesh with his mouth before snapping back to awareness and finally pushing him back, taking one step away. 

“Not yet,” she breathed, even though the flush of arousal was all over her. She knew he could smell it… “Please, not yet. Prove t’me you’re the man I know in actions and not like this. I need more than promises. I need t’see it with my own eyes.”

The Doctor glanced away, hesitated for a long moment before speaking: “I can’t. I’ve changed, Rose—maybe too much. But if you really want to see… I can show you that much at least.”

He raised his hands to her temples, fingers hovering centimeters from her skin. “May I?”

She gripped his wrist tightly and looked sternly into his chocolate orbs. “You see a closed door and you don’t force your way through it,” she said. “I mean it, Doctor. I ain’t let anyone into my mind since I lost ‘im and I’ll not have y’takin’ advantage of it. The bond’ll think you’re ‘im and I ain’t ready for that yet.”

“I won’t. Cross my hearts.” His mouth quirked in a weak attempt at a reassuring smile; then his fingers were on her temples and he was inside her mind.

Slowly, carefully, he allowed his memories of leaving her on Bad Wolf Bay with his metacrisis to filter through the telepathic link, careful not to wander too far into her mind and risk running into any doors. He showed her what he’d done to Donna, some of his travels alone—Victorian London with Jackson Lake and the Cybermen, San Helios with Christina de Souza and the metal stingrays (though he glossed over the bit with her kissing him), and then came Mars and Bowie Base One… The moment he’d realized that he was the last of his kind and therefore the Laws of Time belonged to him… Saving what remained of the team at the very last second, and their fearful reactions when he’d brought them back to Earth… His argument with Captain Adelaide Brooke as he declared himself the Time Lord Victorious…

He was back in his TARDIS then, avoiding the Ood’s summons until he couldn’t any longer. The return of the Master, the Time Lords, Gallifrey… The four knocks, his rant… And then the horrified, despaired yet resigned look on Wilfred’s face as he realized the Doctor wasn’t going to save him…

He’d traveled on his own for a while then, had found himself turning more and more to violence to solve his problems or the issues of the world and time he’d landed in. Blood, gore, terrified screams swirled in his memories and spilled over across the link to Rose. 

(Sometimes he would toy with them before ending their life—though it was always in a secluded area where their cries would not be heard.)

He showed her other, more intimate memories: skin gliding over sweat-slicked skin as he lost himself in another for a few hours. (Male, female—it didn’t matter. He was always gone when they woke.)

The Doctor broke the link when his memories came to the red room and the small man from another place… her doppelgänger…

Once the link was broken, he stepped back, wary of her reaction.

She recoiled in stunned horror, clinging to a coral strut for purchase. She was breathless and terrified at the man standing in front of her. But more than anything, she was heartbroken all over again. 

All too soon her legs couldn’t hold her any more as a choked sob fell from her throat. She spilled onto the grated floor, curling in on herself. “No…” she begged. “No, Rassilon, please…” Tears spilled down her face as she tucked her knees into her chest. “It’s… it’s all my fault. I should never have left you alone. I should have come back sooner.” 

The Doctor shook his head slightly as he moved closer, crouched down next to her and pulled her to him. “ _ Arkytior _ , it’s not your fault. It’s all mine, and I… I don’t want to stop, can’t stop.” His fingers massaged her back in little circles—T-touch. “I should never have left you on that damn beach a second time—but even if you had come back sooner… What would you have done?”

His fingers moved up her back to the base of her neck, slipped under hair to ease the tension in her trapezius and splenius capitis muscles. “I’m still me. Don’t try to fix me; I’m not broken.”

“But I am,” she whispered, pulling away just enough to look into his eyes. “I am broken…” She wanted so badly to believe that he wasn’t broken, but how could she? After she saw what she saw… 

Hot tears stung her eyes, but she almost didn’t feel them. She was so numb, even his touch was vacant, as if she was no longer in her own body. “I would have loved you,” she murmured. “I would have stopped you. I would… I would have died for you…” She choked back a sob before gripping the Doctor around the shoulders and pulling him into her arms. She snuffled into his shoulder just once, shaking a bit. 

And as her eyes scanned the console room something new started happening. It was as if the orange and green color of the TARDIS began to melt away like wet paint dripping from a canvas. At first she thought he was going mad, but all too soon she realized what was really happening. As the orange and green vanished, it showed what had truly become of the TARDIS itself. No longer orange and alive, it was dark… almost black. The green-blue light faded and began to burn a deep crimson red. 

She gasped, pulling away from the Doctor and crawling away as the full horror of the change took its toll on her already shattered heart. It wasn’t until her back hit the doors that she stopped. And where it not for the Time Vortex swirling around outside she would have fled all together. 

This was not her TARDIS. And it was  _ not _ her Doctor. She knew that all too well now. A dry sob cracked her throat as tears spilled from her eyes. She looked nothing like the strong woman he knew once, now she was a frightened animal. 

“Arkytior.” His voice turned soft, gentle, almost pleading. The Doctor slowly moved towards her, his hearts twisting in his chest. The anger he could deal with, but this horror… He didn’t want her scared of  _ him _ , not now, not ever. “Please.  _ Ngudia sam, satu _ .”

He knelt down in front of her, cupped her face in his hands and pressed his forehead against hers for a few seconds, shielding her view of his TARDIS as best he could with his body. “Don’t cry. Don’t scream. There’s no need to be scared of me, my love, cos oh gods, all I want is you. It terrifies me how much I need you.”

He lightly kissed her forehead, her cheeks stained with salty tears. “Rose, say something.  _ Please _ .”

She silently sobbed, eyes flicking between his face and the true TARDIS. How could she have been so blind? How could she not see this as it was the moment she walked in the door? Was she lying to herself?

Her breath came out in terrified pants, through parted lips.  _ Take me back! _ her voice screamed in her mind.  _ Take me back! _ Oh, but how different those words were now. Before they were pleas to return to him, now they were pleas to run away. She was more than scared, she was literally terrified now. 

“I…” she managed over the lump in her throat. “You will be the death of me…” It was barely a whisper. Her eyes closed again, more tears cascading down her cheeks. “Please, don’t hurt me…”

“I’ve already killed myself once for you,” he murmured, pulling back slightly to take in her horrified, tear-streaked expression. “Don’t make me do it again. As for me hurting you… Never. Taking you, making you scream and moan and beg as I pleasure you… Oh yes—several times over, if you’ll let me.” His thumbs caressed the sides of her face; he leaned in, lightly kissed her parted lips. 

She tasted of salt and tears and fear, and a part of him wanted to see more of that as he—

No. Not yet. It was too soon; she wasn’t anywhere near ready.

“I don’t want to force you, Rose, but I’m not going to let you go either. I  _ can’t _ . You can see that, can’t you?”

“Get back!” she snapped, pushing him away as hard as she could. Eye still closed, she wasn’t sure if she succeeded in tossing him away very far, but she did feel his hands let go and his breath was no longer torturing her. 

She gulped in the air, afraid to open her eyes. “I just… need a mo, please,” she breathed. Her head started to throb, and she cradled it in her hands, thumbs massaging her temples in soothing circles. It had been far too long since anyone had been in her mind, and maybe that was part of it. “My head…” she said. “It’s killin’ me… make it stop…”

The Doctor closed in instantly, little soothing noises in the back of his throat. One touch of his index finger in the center of her forehead and the pain was gone. 

“Rose,” he said quietly. “C’mere. Please.” He started to reach out and draw her to him, then stopped as he waited for her permission.

Maybe it was the way he said her name… maybe it was the fact that there was still some of the man she loved still in him… maybe she just needed to be held. It was probably a mix of all three, if she were honest. She finally looked up at the Time Lord before falling into his waiting arms and pressing her face into the crook of his neck. She clutched his clothing in her fists. 

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed out. “ _ Sham gar’ngun _ …”

The Doctor wrapped his arms around her, one hand clutching at her blue jacket while the other fisted in her golden-blonde hair. “Sshhhh-shhh,” he soothed. “ _ Arkytior _ …” He found that he didn’t know how to finish that sentence, so instead he just held her close and breathed in her oh-so- _ familiar _ scent.

“It’s  _ not _ your fault, Rose.  _ Na gabh ort gun _ say that it is.”

She only clung to him tighter, hiding her eyes in his shoulder from the terrible sight of the TARDIS. She wouldn’t argue anymore… not with words. But it was her fault. She knew it was. She had let him think he was second place when she kissed his other half on that beach… Gods, that felt like a hundred years ago now. 

Maybe it was…

“Doctor,” she breathed with a shaken voice, holding onto him as if her were an anchor. So many words came to mind to follow his name.  _ Please stop. Don’t ever hurt anyone else again. I can fix you. I can help you. _ She said none of them. 

“ _ Gràidh _ ,” he murmured, stroking the back of her head as his other arm tightened reflexively around her. “ _ Miurnin…  Tri tu miras’tu _ .”    

The Doctor closed his eyes, dropped a kiss on the top of her head, and then opened them again. Silently, he asked his TARDIS to dim the lights. She hummed a brief protest but did as he asked, and soon the only light came from the central column.

“Rose.” He kept his voice soft, gentle, made sure to put some persuasion in there too. His fingers continued to massage her neck and back, hoping to ease some of the tension in her muscles. “Come to bed. Don’t make me sleep alone.” 

He drew back slightly, lifted her head from his shoulder so he could see her face. Cool lips brushed over her forehead, cheeks, mouth.  _ Breathe in and take my life in you. No longer myself, only you. There’s no escaping me, my love. Surrender. _

“I won’t do anything to you, not yet—unless you want me to. You will surrender to me, Arkytior.”

She was so… sooo tempted to just go to bed with this man. She might have too. She really might have, had he not continued talking. 

“Surrender?” she asked a bit too calm to be sane. “You. Want me. Rose Tyler-Noble. To surrender? You may be a bit different than I remember you, but you can’t possibly be that thick, can you?” She pulled herself from his arms. “I surrender t’no man.”

“All right then, just us girls.” A smile flickered on the Doctor’s lips, then was gone. “Rose…” He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out a hand, brushing his fingers across her face before falling down to her waist. “I’m not human. I don’t see gender the same way your kind does—it’s fluid for Time Lords. Why do you  _ insist _ on seeing me as a  _ human _ ?”

He turned his head away, raked a hand through his hair before looking back at her in the dark. The red light from the console turned her blonde hair to flame, he couldn’t help noticing, and almost without thinking he began toying with a couple strands, rolling it between two of his fingers.

“Rose…” His voice had dropped to a whisper, held more than a hint of desperation as he leaned in again, rested his forehead against hers and had to stop himself from almost automatically reaching out to her telepathically. “You don’t have to. Just come with me and I…” 

Rassilon, even now he couldn’t say it, couldn’t spit out what he wanted—needed—her to hear.

_ I’ll give you  _ **_everything._ **

“I  _ don’t _ insist on seein’ you as human,” she stated. “But you insist on seein’ me as human. And weak. And submissive. I am none of those things anymore, Doctor. I’m sorry.” 

She wasn’t sure if it was her words that struck him to touch her, or if he’d even heard her at all. She never could tell if he was listening, even in all her years with him and various versions of him. Even with 900 plus years of him in her mind. She’d never be done learning him. 

His voice bled through into her mind and for a fraction of a second she was very cross with him. But he was so desperate. And he looked so young. Maybe he hadn’t even meant to do it. “I don’t want you t’give me everything,” she whispered. “I just want you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Doctor. I may not like the man you’ve become, but it doesn’t stop me from needing you. You are my husband, for lack of a better term. My mind is shattered and fragmented without you. You terrify me, but I’m more terrified of what I am without you.” 

The Doctor drew back, studied her for a long moment before he nodded slightly and stood, helped her up. <Then come with me,> he whispered inside her head, holding out a hand in invitation. 

In all honesty, he didn’t know what he would do if she didn’t take it, didn’t walk with him through the halls of his Ship to his room. 

< _ Please _ , Arkytior.>

There was a moment of stillness as she weighed the options, but the pleading look in his eyes was her undoing. She could never deny him anything. 

She reached out, taking his hand and weaving their fingers together as she stood up. 

<Take me to bed. But don’t rush me, please.>

<All right.> He nodded again, slowly led her to his room. Once the both of them were inside he shut the door behind her.

For a long few seconds he studied her face and body language to see if she was still okay with this. The hand holding hers came up, and he pressed his mouth to the inside of her wrist. 

<Tell me what you want, Rose.> He didn’t want to rush her, not now; she was wary enough of him already. And the Doctor found that he wanted to go slow and take his time exploring her.

“I… I dunno…” she said slowly. “I’m tired. I’m in pain and I’m scared. It’s all so much right now t’even process.” 

She wondered if he would even entertain the idea of simply holding her. This Doctor was so very different than the one she knew. 

<Hold me…>

All right. Fine. He could do that. Just hold her, the way he’d used to, nothing more (though he wanted so  _ so _ much more).

The Doctor said nothing; but he pulled her close, wrapped his arms tightly around her and brushed his lips over her forehead before resting his chin on the top of her head. His fingers massaged her back through her clothes in tiny circular movements—not Circular Gallifreyan but a technique called T-touch—and gradually he felt the tension ease from her body.

He  _ would _ have her—just not yet, not until she was ready.

She allowed him to hold her for a long while in almost silence. It wasn’t exactly what she meant, but she wasn’t sure he could be trusted if she were to lay in bed with him. 

Still.

“Put me t’bed, Doctor,” she whispered. “I just need t’sleep. You can stay, but I need t’lie down.”

“All right.” He drew back, led her over to his bed. Once she was sitting down he joined her on the other side, kicked off his shoes, and slid under the duvet. Almost instantly he threw one arm around her stomach, pulled her close.

Rose relaxed into his arms, tucking her head in the crook of his shoulder. She wasn’t sure how long she was silent. It just brought her comfort in holding him and being held at the same time. She could hear his dual heartbeats in tandem, lulling her into an almost doze.  

The Doctor smiled to himself as he felt her relax around him, sensed her breathing slow down as his heartbeats lulled her into a doze. Unable to resist, he slid the hand that was around her stomach under her shirt, started writing absent-minded, random phrases in his written language. 

_ Come to me, come to me, _ he heard in his head—lyrics to a song that had quickly become one of his favorites,  _ to the dark side where love sleeps. _

He wanted to do so much more than just hold her, knew she wouldn’t allow for it—and wasn’t that just ironic? When she’d first traveled with him he’d kept his feelings close to his hearts, had never stepped over the fine line that separated Rose as a companion from Rose as a lover—even when he’d been  _ severely _ tempted to do so. Hell, he’d even pushed her away and given her a half-ape clone because he hadn’t wanted to ruin her life further. …And now the roles were almost reversed.

_ Rose…  _

If he was smart, he would leave right now before he gave into temptation and only made her hate him further. But he wasn’t, didn’t—and he just didn’t care.

He shifted, lightly kissed the top of her head. His hand on her waist moved lower, slipped under the waistband of her pants and knickers, explored, teased…

She really wanted to push him away. He knew where he was allowed to touch her and this wasn’t allowed yet. But the feeling of his slender fingers on her flesh was hard to push away. 

He was her husband in all but title. And when she felt a flood of arousal, she couldn’t stop the tendrils of her marital bond reaching out. They could hold each other, touch each other, be in the same room together and it wouldn’t have happened… but the intimate touch it what signals the bond into action, surging forward to latch onto him. 

That’s what made her push him away. Not that she didn’t want him to continue, but because she hadn’t asked and he hadn’t offered. 

“You can’t do that,” she stated firmly. “Not without consequences, Doctor.” 

His hand stilled for a moment, then withdrew. “What sort of consequences, Arkytior?”

Oh, he was just  _ asking _ for trouble now, and he knew it.

“You… didn’t  _ feel _ that?” she asked in shock. “If you and me… if we’re intimate, the bond will latch on. It’ll lock us t’gether forever, as it’s meant too. You might not be the one I bonded with, but he shared your mind. I couldn’t stop it, even if I had three hundred years of work on my mental shield. I dunno if you could stop it, either.”

She sat up and looked down at the Time Lord she was sharing a bed with. “You and I… we’re married.”

He jerked back from her suddenly, anger flaring in his eyes. “No, you married  _ him _ , not me—a mere  _ shadow _ , a half-ape  _ copy _ .”

Just as suddenly as it flared up, the anger died. “And if I don’t want to stop it?” He sat up, faced her, ran his hands up her arms and over her shoulders. “Did that occur to you, Rose?”

“Same man, same mind,” she challenged. “And don’t you dare think of him as a copy!”

Oh, she could throw so many of his memories back at him to prove it, too. 

“I dunno if I’m ready for that, Doctor,” she whispered. “The moment we’re intimate will change everything. I will be your wife. You’ll be stuck with me. Forever. I… I don’t age anymore. I could live just as long as you.”

He drew back, thought that over. “Okay, then. If that’s what you want. I promise I won’t touch you without your genuine consent.”

“Thank you,” she whispered softly. Oh, it’s not that she wasn’t aching to stitch closed the gaping wound in her mind, because she was. And only he could do it. The marital bond would recognize him instantly and latch on without either one of them having to try. 

“Would you really have me?” she asked in a hushed voice, eyes dropping into her lap. “I’m… damaged, Doctor. I’m not your pink and yellow girl anymore.”

He barked out a harsh laugh that died instantly. “Rose, in case you hadn’t noticed,” he remarked sarcastically with a gesture at the TARDIS’s latest color scheme, “I’m not the same Time Lord who left you on that beach with a half-human biological meta-crisis.”

He raked a hand through his hair, let it fall back in his lap as he studied her. “Of course I would have you. Don’t you  _ know _ that by now?”

“It’s Donna,” she said voice still soft. “You wouldn’t know… you never saw it the way we did. You never  _ felt _ it. She really believed she was nothing, y’know? And it’s always there. Was for him for so long and now me too.” Two brown eyes peered up at the Time Lord through long lashes, almost daring him to make a snide remark about Donna Noble.

He looked away at the mention of Donna. “Don’t,” he snapped. “I had to erase her memory—did it despite her protests and without her consent. If she remembers me, she’ll die. So _ don’t _ .”

_ “You don’t!” _ she snapped back. “I have no intention of speakin’ t’her or tellin’ her anything. We suspected as much, y’know? A human mind can’t possibly hold that of a Time Lord’s. Not on it’s own. Not without help… You realize why it works for me, don’t you? How I can hold all of the memories he ever gave me, how I can speak your language, read it even? I could probably fly the TARDIS if I needed too. I ain’t  _ human _ anymore, Doctor. I haven’t been for a very long time… Still only have one heart, that’ll never change, but look at me. I haven’t aged. Not a single day since Bad Wolf Bay.” 

His eyes widened at that, unable to completely hide his shock. “What?” But that meant…

No. He’d taken it all out of her—at least, he’d been sure he had. He never had bothered to check.

The Doctor swallowed hard, struggled to find his voice amid all the chaotic thoughts whirling around in his head. “Bad Wolf,” he managed after a long moment (and if his voice sounded slightly raspy, it wasn’t his fault). “I should’ve checked, should’ve…” Without thinking, one hand reached out for her. “Rose, I—”

The concern in his voice was palpable and Rose found the walls around her heart buckling infinitesimally. 

She took his outstretched hand, winding their fingers together. “You did, my love,” she said gently, understanding the unspoken words. “You did take it out of me. You saved my life at the time. But the change was already taking place. It would have happened if I had stayed here with you or gone there with him. However, it would have been slower, it would have been less drastic. The dimension hopping sped it up a bit. Then there was the bond on top of it.”

She looked away, knowing he’d be angry about this part of the story. “He dreamed of it,” she whispered. “He dreamed of the game station. He didn’t mean t’do it. But I saw it. I saw everything and it… opened the door. After that there was no going back…”

“How far along is it?” His voice was soft, the tone mild—but he wasn’t sure how well of a job he was doing covering up both his anger and his fear: anger that his meta-crisis hadn’t been able to keep the Game Station from her, fear that Bad Wolf could easily take control and start coming for him. “Can you control it, or does it—?” He broke off, took a moment to collect his thoughts. What came out instead was a snarl: “ _ Don’t _ mention  _ him _ again, all right?”

She wanted to slap him for ordering her not to speak of her husband. How could she possibly not speak of him? The years they had may not have been many, but they made her what she was!

“There’s no goin’ back if that’s what you’re askin’,” she said in a serious tone. “Why don’t you see for yourself? Take me t’the med bay and look at my DNA, Doctor. I’m not a Time Lady, but I’m also not human. I’m somethin’ different.” 

He’d see it all then. The third strand of TNA. The possibility of regeneration, the golden genes that Bad Wolf had re-written so she could house a Time Lord in her mind. 

The Doctor forced himself to meet her eyes, held her gaze for a long moment. “Fine.” 

He released her hand, pushed himself off the bed and stepped back. “Let’s go, then. I’ll let you take the lead.” He gestured with a sweep of his left hand toward the bedroom door leading out into the hallway. If he had to admit, he was tempted to just take her hand and lead her there, but he  _ was _ going to keep his promise not to touch her without her explicit consent—even if said contact was innocent in nature.

She was the one that initiated contact, grabbing his hand as it swept by. She just held it for a long moment as if contemplating what to do with it next before finally weaving their fingers together. “No,” she said softly. “I don’t know the way from here. Never been t’your room b’fore. I want you t’take me there, Doctor.”

His fingers tightened reflexively around hers for a second; he eyed her, then nodded. “Okay.”

As he led her down the hallway to his room, he pretended not to notice that he still hadn’t let go of her hand.


End file.
